❞ كتاب The Bride rsquo s Boon ❝ ⏤ محمود مهدي الاستانبولي

Foreword
• Introduction
• Marriage is an Act of Worship
o Marriage as Allah’s Favor
o The superiority of Marriage
o Chastity
o Women Are on the Top of Worldly Enjoyment
o Misconception of Worship

• Before Marriage

o Righteousness and Marriage
o Adulterers only Marry Each Other
o Beware of Outer Appearance
o Looking at One's Prospective Partner
o Medical Check up before Marriage
o Undercutting Another’s Betrothal
o The Constant Love and the Blooming Marriage
o Marrying Young Ladies
o A Woman’s Guardian

• Islam and Love

o Marriage, the Best Bond for the Lovers
o Hard Love
• Blessed Marriage

o The Bride's Consent Before Marriage

5

o The Woman’s Right to Marry a Suitable Match of Her
Choice
o The Presentation of Ones Daughter (for Marriage) To a
Religious Man
o The Bride's Dowry
o A Proposal of Marriage
o The Necessity of Giving the Dowry
o The Address While Marriage Proposal

• Recommendations before Marriage
• In the Bed room

o Caressing One’s Wife When the Consummation of Marriage
with Her
o What a Husband Says on the First Day of Marriage
o Women’s Speech
o What a Husband Says upon the First Time to Have Sexual
Intercourse with His Wife
o The Prohibition of Spreading Bedroom Secrets
o What a Husband Does on the Next Day of Marriage
o How Does a Husband Approach His Wife
o Reward Even While Having Sexual Intercourse
o Reward for Those Who Have Sexual Intercourse with Their
Wives on Fridays
o Sodomizing One’s Wife
o Guarding One’s Nakedness Except from His wife
o Intercourse with One’s Wife during Menstruation
o One’s Privacy before his Wife
o Wash Yourself for Another Sexual Approach

6

o The House Must Have a Place for Bathing
o Disaffecting a Person’s Wife

• Caressing

o Caressing One’s Wife
o Caressing One’s wife Even While Menstruation
o The Bathing of Husband And Wife together
o The Superiority of Caressing One’s wife
o Having Sexual Intercourse With One’s Wife While
o Fasting in Ramadan
o The Prophet, the Funny Husband

• The Wedding Banquet
o The Wedding Banquet
o The Obligation of Accepting the Wedding Banquet
o Not Accepting the Wedding Banquet If One sees something
disapproved of (from the standpoint of religion) in the
party
o Supplication While the Wedding Banquet

• Take Care of Women

o Kind Treatment of One’s Wife
o How to Deal with a Wife Whom You Dislike
o Forbearing One’s Wife
o The Exhortation of Taking Care of Women
o The High Rank of woman in Islam

• Advantages and Disadvantages
o Beautiful Women in Paradise

7

o The Description of a Righteous Woman
o Undesirable Woman
o The Ideal Wife
o The Prophet, the Faithful Husband

• Rights and Duties
o The Wife’s Rights
o Deserting One’s Wife for a Long Time
o The Wife as a Friend
o The Husband’s Right towards his Wife
o A Woman’s Voluntary Fasting
o The Superiority of Maintaining One’s Husband
o The Heavenly Wives Defending Their Husbands
o The Reward of Obeying One’s Husband
o Take Care of Women
o The Responsibility of the Spouse Towards Each Other
o The Political and Military Goals of Marriage
o Evidence of the Prophecy

• Marriage Is Enjoyment and Responsibility
o The Marital Life Is Not Just for Pleasure
o From the Arms of His Bride to the Battlefield
o How Islam Brings up the Woman
o Women and knowledge
o The Leisure Time
o Characteristics of the Leaders Wives

8

o The Prophet As A Serious Husband
o The Ascetic Life of the Prophet
o The Superiority of the Perseverance of One’s Wife
o Maintaining One’s Wife
o The Reward of Maintaining One’s Children
o A Miser Husband
o Having Many Children
o Giving the Call to Prayer in the Ears of the Newborn Baby
o Sacrifice for A Newborn and Circumcision
o Name-Giving
o The Prophet As A Kind Father
o Changing Silly Names
o The Tribulation of Children
o Islam and Girls
o The Reward of Taking Care of Girls
o Women and Teaching
o Maintaining the Woman’s Health
o Educational Principles
o Bringing up One’s Children
o When should a Child Be Ordered to Perform the Prayer
o Lying to One’s Children
o Equality Among Children
o Kind Treatment to One’s Children
o The Reward Granted to the Parents Who Have a Dead
Child

9

o Intercession of Children for their Parents
o A Wife Should Relieve the Misfortune of Her Husband
o Obedience to One’s Parents
• The Tribulation of Women
o Cherchez la femme
o The seriousness of sex
o Non segregation of sexes and staying in seclusion with
woman
o O Wife Be Ware!
o A gaze Is one of Satan’s Arrows
o The Clear Truth
o A Wife Should Satisfy Her Husband as Quick as Possible
• Family and Dangers
o The Husband’s Relatives and Friends
o Beware of the Display of Woman’s Body
o Women Imitating Men and Vice Versa
o Negative showing off
o The Prohibition of Imitating the Unbelievers

• Chaste people Are under Allah’s Shade

o The Reward of Chastity
o Do Not Approach Adultery
o Sexual Relation in Paradise
o Repentance
• Jealousy Consumes Love
o Jealousy

10

• A Feather in the Wind
o A wife Is Rebellion Against her Husband
o A Husband Is Rebellion Against His Wife
o Arbitration

• Sex: Questions and Answers

o Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex

• Translator’s Postscript

The marital life is an interesting and necessary institution. If one
fails to understand the core of the conjugal relation between man and
woman he will lead a life of oblivion and disorientation.
I hope that the prospective spouse study the technique of marriage
before getting into it. Unless we teach our prospective spouses the
correct way of their new marital life, they may resort to erotic books or
stories that mislead them. There are many misconceptions about
marriage and man-woman relationship.
Therefore, I decided to write this beneficial treatise and
authenticated treatment clearly explaining the way to a happy marital
life. I pointed out certain issues important to everyone who marries,
and with which many wives in particular have been tested. I ask Allah
Most High to bring about some benefit from this treatise, and to accept
this work solely for His glorious countenance. Surely, He is the
Righteous, the Merciful.
It should be known that there are many etiquette in the area of
marriage. All that I am concerned with here in this quickly compiled
work is the Qur'anic verses and that which is authenticated of the
Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad, that which is irreproachable from
the standpoint of its chain of narration and upon which no doubt can
be cast in terms of its constructions and meanings. In this way,
whoever reads and follows this information will be on a clearly
established basis in religion, and will have full confidence in tl1e source
and validity of his actions. I hope for him that Allah will put the final
seal of felicity on his life, in reward for beginning his married life with
the following of the Sunnah, and to make for him among His slaves.
I openly discussed sexual relation between husband and wife. No
wonder, Islam is a realistic religion. Sex is a natural and creative urge.
Hence, Islam lays down great importance on marriage and the
constitution of a new family.
When talking about sex, the Glorious Qur'an is very euphemistic
though clear. Particularly, the Qur'an uses euphemism and figurative
speech when dealing with matters pertaining to sex and man-woman
relationship.

12

The Qur'an deals with the human life and all what it contains. It
permeates into the personal relationship between husband and wife to
organize it. It further provides the remedy to one's passion and
passionate love.
When recounting the story of Yusuf (pbuh), the Qur'an highlights
the conflict between the blazing sexual urge and the suppression of
that urge by adhering to Allah's Guidance. Allah Almighty says:
{But she in whose house he was, sought to seduce him and she
fastened the doors, and said: 'Now come," He said: "Allah forbid! Truly
(thy husband) is my lord! he made my sojourn agreeable! Truly to no
good come those who do wrong and (with passion) did she desire him,
and he would have desired her, but that he saw the evidence of his
Lord: thus (Did you order) that We might turn away from him indecent
deeds: For he was one of Our servants chosen.}}
[Yusuf: 23-24]
The evidence which Yusuf saw was the evidence of faith. In the
Prophetic Hadith we have also another story which emphasizes that
faith is the safety belt that protects man against whatever he might
face of worldly appeals.
Allah's Messenger said, "While three persons were traveling, they
were overtaken by rain and they took shelter in a cave in a mountain.
A big rock fell from the mountain over the mouth of the cave and
blocked it. They said to each other. 'Think of such good (righteous)
deeds which, you did for Allah's sake only, and invoke Allah by giving
reference to those deeds so that Allah may relieve you from your
difficulty.
One of them said, 'O Allah! I had my parents who were very old and
I had small children for whose sake I used to work as a shepherd.
When I returned to them at night and, milked (the sheep), I used to
start giving the milk to my parents first before giving to my children.
And one day I went far away in search of a grazing place (for my
sheep), and didn't return home till late at night and found that my
parents had slept. I milked (my livestock) as usual and brought the
milk vessel and stood at their heads, and I disliked to wake them up
from their sleep, and I also disliked to give the milk to my children
before my parents though my children were crying (from hunger) at
my feet. So this state of theirs and mine continued till the day
dawned. (O Allah!) If you considered that I had done that only for
seeking Your pleasure, then please let there be an opening through

13

which we can see the sky.' So Allah made for them an opening through
which they could see the sky.
Then the second person said, 'O Allah! I had a she-cousin whom I
loved as much as a passionate man loves a woman. I tried to seduce
her but she refused till I paid her one hundred Dinars. So I worked
hard till I collected one hundred Dinars and went to her with that But
when I sat in between her legs (to have sexual intercourse with her),
she said, 'O Allah's slave! Be afraid of Allah! Do not deflower me
except legally (by marriage contract). So I left her O Allah! If you
considered that I had done that only for seeking Your pleasure then
please let the rock move a little to have a (wider) opening.' So Allah
shifted that rock to make the opening wider for them.
And the last (third) person said 'O Allah! I employed a laborer for
wages equal to a Faraq (a certain measure: of rice, and when he had
finished his ,job he demanded his wages, but when I presented his due
to him, he gave it up and refused to take it. Then I kept on sowing
that rice for him (several times) till managed to buy with the price of
the yield, some cows and their shepherd Later on the laborer came to
me and said. '(O Allah's slave!) Be afraid O Allah, and do not be unjust
to me an give me my due.' I said (to him). 'Go and take those cows
and their shepherd. So he took them and went away. (So, O Allah!) If
You considered that I had done that for seeking Your pleasure, then
please remove the remaining part of the rock.' And so Allah released
them (from their difficulty)."

This book consists of a scientific and realistic discussion of man-
woman relationship. Spouses should know each other spiritually,

physically and sexually. They must not feel shy when discussing such
matters that to sex. They should feel that they are one entity. Platonic
love is not enough to unify the spouse hearts. Sexual satisfaction may
be the fruit of their physical and spiritual unity. Therefore, they must
be creative and cooperative.
Man-woman relationship is not only innate but also acquired. It
needs much study to be understood. It needs developing and
renovating so that the partners might not feel bored or monotonous.

Qur'anic verses:
The legal basis for marriage, prior to scholarly consensus and the
Sunnah is such Qur'anic verses as,

({[And among His signs is this, that He
created for you mates from among yourselves,
that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and
He has put love and mercy between your
(hearts): Verily in that are signs for those who
reflect.)}
[Al-Rum: 21]
{It is He Who created you from a single
person, and made his mate of like nature, in
order that he might dwell2

with her (in love).}

[AI-A`raf: 189]

1
Life is tough without enjoyment. One of the main objectives of marriage is the preservation and
continuation of the human race. Such an objective is encouraged by instinct and the processes of nature for
the procreation of the human species.
2
Husband-wife relationship is not merely a utilitarian relationship. It is a spiritual relationship and sustains
and generates love, kindness, mercy, compassion, mutual confidence, self-sacrifice, solace and succour. It
is to attain Psychological, emotional and spiritual companionship.

15

The Superiority of Marriage

Qur'anic verses:

{Marry women of your choice, two or three,
or four; But if ye tear that ye shall not be able
to deal Justly (with them) then only one, or
that which your right hands possess. That will
be more suitable, to prevent you from doing
injustice.}
[Al-Nisa': 3]
{They are your garments and ye are their
garments.}3
[Al-Baqarah: 187]
{Then marry women of your liking, two,
three, four}
[An-Nisa': 3]
Prophetic Hadiths:

"When a man gets married, he gets one half
of the religion. Thus, he should tear Allah in
the other half.”4

3
Men and women are each other's garments: i.e., they are of mutual support, mutual comfort, and mutual
protection, fitting into each other as a garment fits the body. A garment also is both of show and
concealment. This emphasizes their sameness, their oneness, something much more sublime than legal
equality. The husband and the wife are described as each other's raiment, not one as the garment and the
other the body. A garment is something nearest to the human body; it is that part of the external world
which becomes a part at' our being. Such is the closeness of the relationship between the spouses. Dress is
something that covers the body and protects it. The spouses are protectors and guardians at each other. The
dress beautifies the wearer. One feels oneself incomplete without it. Husband and wife complement each

other; one completes and prefects and beautifies the other. This relationship also protects the morals-
without this shield one is exposed to the dangers of illicit carnality.

4
Through marriage a Muslim can find his soul mate. Spouses complete each other. Therefore, it is
recommended for those who want to marry to choose their partners very well. Then, they would rather
perform two rak'ats and say the following supplication:
"O Allah, I ask You, of Your knowledge, for guidance and of Your power, for strength; and I ask You Your
great generosity. Certainly You are Powerful and I am not, and You are the Knower of the unknown. O
Allah, if You know this matter to be good for my religion, my worldly life, my life in the next world then
decree it for me and make it easy, and bless me in it. And if You know this matter to be detrimental to my

(Reported by Al-Baihaqi)
Abdullah Ibn 'Amr Ibn al-'As reports the
Prophet (pbuh) to have said, "The worldly life
is an enjoyment, the best enjoyment of which
is a righteous woman."
[Narrated by Muslim and An-Nisa'i]
Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with
him) reports the Prophet (pbuh) to have said,
"There are three people whom Allah will surely
help: a warrior in the cause of Allah, a slave
who wants to free himself by a payable
contract and whoever seeks chastity by
marriage."5

 An informative guide to marriage and its various rulings. The writer decided to write this beneficial treatise and authenticated treatment clearly explaining the way to a happy marital life. He pointed out certain issues important to everyone who marries, and with which many wives in particular have been tested. I ask Allah Most High to bring about some benefit from this treatise, and to accept this work solely for His glorious countenance. Surely, He is the Righteous, the Merciful.